Wednesday, October 5, 2011

There's a marriage in Agrabah

So, if you haven't heard all the buzz, I will announce it again here: Brooke is getting married.
My sister is getting married! 
My little sister is getting married... 
Crap.

Isn't it law that the older sister must be married first? I mean, I know Elizabeth wouldn't have gotten married until Jane did (Pride and Prejudice reference up in here, what what). Well, I wouldn't want her to delay her day of eternal bliss, but maybe if I could find me a husband before her marriage then I could take that burden of guilt off of her. (Note: I am now writing this blog trying to do the accent of Annie Oakley. Oh you can't get a man with a gun...). Thus far in my life I have failed to find that other half, so here are my qualifications for any of you who have rich, handsome, eligible young men interested in saving me from a life of spinster-hood

1. I can make food - Cold cereal, burnt popcorn, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and those are only the more advanced meals on my food preparing resume.

2. I can sew - And by "I can sew" I mean "I have a Grandma who sews things for me but lets me pretend like I made them" Just check my skirt out from my Halloween costume (look on FB). That's right, I totally bought the fabric and watched my grandma sew it.

3. I can build things - Once my dad let me build my shelf all by myself. Nevermind that the shelves were upside down, leaving the unpainted side up, the shelf could totally hold like 10 books

4. I am graceful - and I regularly get in fights with stairs and floors. No, I never trip, I just attack sketchy looking floors. I'm looking out for my friends always.

5. I can do laundry - Not only can I clean those clothes, but I make sure that they shrink a little just because they are much more adorable that way. And do you have problems matching all the colors in your wardrobe? Not when I do the laundry, a little bit of bleach makes all your clothes a matching shade of ivory mold.

6. I'm good with kids -  Primarily because I am one. I'm proud to say that I hang out with my 10 year old cousin more than any people my age.

7. I smile all the time - even when i'm completely alone, or watching a sad movie, or walking alone on campus. I'm sure people wonder what I am thinking to make me smile like that. So let me share, "Potato potato potato po-tato potato potato pota-to potato potato potato..." (It's a real song. Google the potato song. you will understand)

8. I'm the definition of all things girly - Most things I mean. Not makeup, or giggling, or dressing well. Rather, I cry for no reason, I want chocolate always, and I need someone to constantly tell me I'm pretty.

SO, there you have it! Let all those lonely millionaires out there know about me! We got three months to dun find me a husband

4 comments:

  1. Not sure this will attract what you are looking for... but a man who loves a great writer? Well I'm sure there's one of those and you ought to have him! You are fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  2. a, a, a! she is 11... got that? thanks!
    KAELIN... your ELEVEN year old cousin

    ReplyDelete