Friday, May 18, 2012

A Day in Santa Monica

Before I moved to California, I decided that I really didn't like the beach. I'm terrified of water, and I hate getting dirty. Those two things basically describe the beach: sand and water.

My roommate and I had a couple days off, so I decided to give the beach another chance. We drove out to Santa Monica for an afternoon. I didn't get in the water, and we didn't spend much time on the sand. I loved it.

I'm all about the character of a city, and Santa Monica has some real character.

At this point she said to me "Oh no... you're like a mom"
She will have to get used to waiting for me to take pictures, and posing for them

You got tickets to the GUN SHOW?

Monday, May 14, 2012

The Candy Touch

If you asked my parents to describe me, you would hear a plethora of great words (Perfect, better than Brooke, like a saint, etc.) 

You may also hear the word "Cheap"

I hate spending money (unless it's on traveling... even then, I would stay in the sketchiest of cheap motels if my mother didn't for me to find otherwise). I will avoid buying things. Important things. Since moving here? Groceries have really taken a hit.

At work, there is a break room stocked full of food. Mostly candy, but food nonetheless. And gas is so expensive... I just don't feel like buying real food. Do you see the reasoning? So, for the past two weeks I have lived on a diet based on what I can find in the Conan break room. Here is a staple of my daily menu:

Breakfast: Fig newtons
Lunch: Mini bagel with hummus and Diet Coke
Snack: Twizzlers
Dinner: Flips chocolate covered pretzels 

How do I feel on a scale of "vegan - buddy the elf"? Pretty awful, considering sugar has replaced my normal serving of vegetables. At the same time, there's a little pride in the fact that I'm eating what the 6 year old me dreamed my diet would be. I'd like to compare the experience the book "The Chocolate Touch." At first it was awesome that everything was candy... but man, I could really go for some carrots right now.

This picture is an analogy: I'm crying in the candy aisle because all I see is sugar... but I just need to turn around and, Behold! Are those leafy greens I see?

To all of you who are now very worried about my rotting teeth and cankered tongue, you needn't worry. I just made a shopping list, and it involves 3 different kinds of vegetables and no sugar. Of course, getting to the store is a whole other story...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Conan update/People are obsessed with mustaches

Do you ever go to work really tired, and grumpy, and then realize "OH MY HECK I WORK FOR CONAN" and then get really excited? Because that happens to me about every 5 minutes here.

I was talking to my family today. I wanted to show off the only song I can play on the ukulele, but they wanted to know about the famous people I've seen, and how much I miss them. ("Them" meaning my family... pronouns are confusing). To sum it up quickly, yes, I've seen a lot more famous people, obviously, because my boss's job is to interview them. Joel McHale, the girls from Pretty Little Liars, and the girl from the Vampire Diaries are the newest on the list (plus another, who must remain a secret for a while longer). And of course I miss my family.


We are obsessed. It is a problem. If I see one more picture of a tragically hip girl with a fake mustache on pinterest I think I might die. Pretty girls all over have at least one picture with some sort of fake mustache. I call it the "adorable mustache." I mean I totally understand the trend. Nothing says "I'm an adorable girl" quite like a collection of hair above our lips, right?

They come in the form of finger tattoos

On a stick (Even I have been a victim in the epidemic)
Wedding Announcements

The list goes on an on... seriously. I found wrapping paper, mugs, necklaces, shirts, beanies, and there is even a giant convention this weekend in LA dedicated entirely to mustaches. I think the adorable mustache has run its course, and it's time to move on to the next thing. 

I'm being so ironic, it's cute!
That's right. Why should we have that hair above our lips, when it can be just as cute BELOW! Just think of all the cute places you can put a picture of a soul patch: On a necklace, on your shirt, on your baby's binky, on your wedding ring, on all the mustache paraphernalia you already bought, etc.

Because why look like this guy:
When you can look like this guy:

You could even combine the two and look like this guy:

Yay adorable female facial hair! For some reason I blame Zooey Deschanel...

Thursday, May 3, 2012

People in LA are the Nicest

I always heard that Mormons were often the nicest people around. That is wrong. Burbank-ians are the kindest.

My landlord worked way above and beyond to get me into my apartment.

Everyone at Conan is willing and eager to teach me all sorts of new things about the industry.

Every store owner welcomes each customer as they enter.

Everyone seems to know everyone... the way I imagined only happened in small towns

Waiters/waitresses are perky and my water never empties.

And then there's my internet guys.
I got the information for the company's representative, Andrei, a day after I moved in. I left him a message and he never called back. So, I was already a little frustrated when gave him another call. Then I had a difficult time understanding him because of his heavy accent. More frustration. We scheduled a time for him to come by, and it was a longer wait than I wanted. I threw a mini tantrum in my head.
When the appointment time came, he knocked at my door right on time. I was feeling grumpy, and ready to be perturbed, but I could not stay upset at this adorable guy. He was an armenian man in his late forties just short of 6 feet, with a giant smile from ear to ear plastered on his face. With him was another man in his thirties who was just as jolly.
They came in and went right to work. The younger man noticed my ukelele sitting on the couch.
"You play?" He said
"No. I really don't"
"Do you like hawaiian music"
"Well... no"
I know, it's amazing how charming I can be when I completely shut a conversation down. I wanted to just read in silence, but Andrei would have none of it.
"Sing us a song!"
"Oh really, I can't"
"Oh please, play Somewhere Over the Rainbow" And somehow his smile got bigger.
I conceded. I haven't figured out how to strum and sing at the same time yet... but I gave it my best shot. They were both so pleased. They clapped and cheered. Then Andrei crossed off the little section of paper that said "installation fee." Yup. My terrible ukelele skills saved me $25, and my internet guys are either the nicest guys in the world, or two tone-deaf men who live in a cave and have never heard Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Praise to the uke that got me free internet installation.
The magic powers of the uke shall someday be used to make Jake Gyllenhaal fall in love with me.

Somehow our conversation continued, and turned to more serious subjects. I learned that Andrei was from Iran, and that he had fought in the army because it was a requirement. He was seriously injured by a bomb and nearly died. His story was incredible, and I suddenly felt very guilty for being bothered by his accent.
20 minutes after their arrival, my internet was set up, and they were on their way. I can honestly say that I was sad that they were leaving, partially because I realized that after they left I would be spending 2 weeks totally alone in my apartment, but mostly because they were amazing people.

Please don't ever make me leave this place.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Video Blogging is Awkward

Ever wonder what the Tower of Terror is really like? Don't worry, my first video blog will tell you all about it.

Look at that awkward still that is representing me.

It's a really rough video. Please forgive the out of sync audio, terrible image quality, and my uncomfortable glances at my dad.

I understand if you hate it, but you will just need to deal, because there are going to be more. Many more.