Monday, May 14, 2012

The Candy Touch

If you asked my parents to describe me, you would hear a plethora of great words (Perfect, better than Brooke, like a saint, etc.) 

You may also hear the word "Cheap"

I hate spending money (unless it's on traveling... even then, I would stay in the sketchiest of cheap motels if my mother didn't for me to find otherwise). I will avoid buying things. Important things. Since moving here? Groceries have really taken a hit.

At work, there is a break room stocked full of food. Mostly candy, but food nonetheless. And gas is so expensive... I just don't feel like buying real food. Do you see the reasoning? So, for the past two weeks I have lived on a diet based on what I can find in the Conan break room. Here is a staple of my daily menu:

Breakfast: Fig newtons
Lunch: Mini bagel with hummus and Diet Coke
Snack: Twizzlers
Dinner: Flips chocolate covered pretzels 

How do I feel on a scale of "vegan - buddy the elf"? Pretty awful, considering sugar has replaced my normal serving of vegetables. At the same time, there's a little pride in the fact that I'm eating what the 6 year old me dreamed my diet would be. I'd like to compare the experience the book "The Chocolate Touch." At first it was awesome that everything was candy... but man, I could really go for some carrots right now.

This picture is an analogy: I'm crying in the candy aisle because all I see is sugar... but I just need to turn around and, Behold! Are those leafy greens I see?


To all of you who are now very worried about my rotting teeth and cankered tongue, you needn't worry. I just made a shopping list, and it involves 3 different kinds of vegetables and no sugar. Of course, getting to the store is a whole other story...


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