Friday, June 8, 2012

My 15 Minutes of Fame



I had the huge privilege of being in a sketch for Conan last night.

Thanks to Jose Arroyo, one of the writers for the show, for letting me be a part of it.

I think the coolest part is probably that I was on the same show as Chris Hemsworth. We're basically friends now, right?

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Children Have Blogs

The title of my blog may be a little, oh how do I say this, misleading? Inaccurate? A complete lie?

It's time to come clean.

I'm not an adult by anyone's standards.

When I finished high school, I moved into the freshman dorms at BYU and knew that I'd be done living at home forever. Or at least until the next year. I technically had an apartment my sophomore and junior year, meaning that rent was paid, but half the time I just went to my parent's house and slept there. This last year, I finally recognized that paying rent for an apartment I didn't sleep in was ridiculous, and I moved back home.

Oh, I'm sorry, did you think that I paid for my own rent? Nope. Still too much of a child to do that. (Gotta stop doing these unpaid internships.)

When I did leave home for a job I went to a theme park... where I wore a costume... and pretended I was a jungle explorer.

I can't kneel while I say my prayers because I'm afraid of what might be under the bed.

My favorite movies are all cartoons.

I had a cookie for breakfast this morning, then rootbeer for lunch.

No one in their right mind should allow me to be on my own.

I could graduate in December, my baby sister is married, my Junior Prom date is engaged, the girls I watched when I was a counselor at summer camps are in college, I could have gone on a mission and returned by now, my next exciting birthday age is 30, I have a hip replacement. I AM OLD! (The hip replacement is a lie, but it might as well be true at my age).

The title shall now unofficially be "Adults with a Peter Pan Complex have Blogs"


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Anti-Bucket List

I've been trying so hard to find my niche in this blogging world. Many of the popular blogs out there are about crafts, fashion, photography, or about how the blogger is SO in love with her husband. Unfortunately for me, I know nothing about crafts, I'm barely capable of dressing myself, my camera takes nice pictures but that is no credit to me, and I am MADLY in love with my husband... I just haven't met him yet... (But mark my words Jake Gyllenhaal, someday we will.)

So, I tried to find something I could pull from these other blogs.

I found a lot of people making "Bucket Lists." Hitchhiking across Europe, bungee jumping off the top of the Eiffel Tower, Dancing with a storm trouper in Morocco, etc. I started to notice that all the ideas sounded crazy cool... for a tv show... not real life.

However great it seems like it would be to jump out of an airplane while making a rootbeer float, I don't think I would ever do it. It's expensive, scary, and I don't really like rootbeer all that much anyway. On top of that, it is could cause me to kick the bucket sooner.

I would like to live for as long as possible... So here is my anti-bucket list: really great things that will allow me to keep my bucket upright for as long as possible

1. Check my blood pressure by myself
2. Look at a plane flying in the sky, as I dive off a low diving board.
3. Avoid sticking things in electric sockets
4. Stand at the finish line of a marathon and congratulate people who finished
5. Marry Jake Gylenhaal
6. Eat spinach
7. Watch "The Amazing Race" on television from a safe viewing distance
8. Go to my parents house and drink filtered water
9. Send in an audition tape to "Survivor" and then send a rejection letter when they do actually choose me
10. Write lists and put them on my blog



Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Practice Makes Perfect

My time here at Conan has taught me how much I really like comedy, but it's also made me realize that I don't practice enough. If I actually want to go into comedy writing, I need work on writing.

Writing is like running. You can't just start running one day and expect to be amazing. Lucky for me, writing doesn't make me wish I was dead every second I'm doing it.

It's time to work those writing muscles. Expect more blog posts.

I also started a twitter account. Well, it's actually my second, but I didn't want to take the time to fix my old one. Sorry "singing bri" followers.

As far as a "life" update goes, not much has changed. I am still an intern for Conan. I'm still watching absurd amounts of Supernatural. I'm still constantly stressing over the fact that I don't have a perfect 5 year plan (heck, I don't even have a good 5 month plan).

Wait! Is my life sounding too boring to be a real show biz lifestyle? Well, maybe ya'll should watch Conan on Thursday... because I might be cool... but it's a big maybe, because stuff gets cut from the show all the time... and I'm not saying I'm in stuff on the show... but I'm not saying I'm not in stuff on the show... I'm just being cryptic, because I don't want to say anything I shouldn't...

If I had an iphone, I would have added a picture here...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

My Relationship with Garmin

LA is a crazy place, full of homeless people, sketchy neighborhoods, and foreign people. More than anything though, LA is full of freeways, one way streets, and endless ways to get lost, which is why I have my handy, dandy GPS Garmin!

Taking pictures with my phone of my GPS while driving. I'm all sorts of safe!
She has helped me get all over the place. From going to Irvine to pick up a kilt rental, to driving Zankou Chicken to pick up another lunch order for someone, and I appreciate that she knows the area better than I do, but most the time I find my self yelling furiously at her.

I'll be driving somewhere, sticking perfectly to the instructions that she has given me then suddenly her snooty british voice comes out: "Recalculating..." NO! Why? What have I done to displease you master Garmin? You can hear how condescending she is when she says it, too.

Once I drove out to Newport Beach to spend some time with a friend. Garmin had me circling the location for nearly an hour. I knew we were circling because there were signs that let me know I was in the right city, and we kept driving on the same road over and over. It made me so upset I wanted to take Garmin, and throw her out the window... but I couldn't... because she was still in charge... So instead I just screamed at her... which is sad. Don't worry, she was punished. Once we got to the location I put her in the corner, facing the wall and told everyone that they were not to look at her.

I recognize that Garmin is not, in fact, a real person. I can't imagine how cruel I would be to a real person riding shotgun trying to figure out how to read a map.